Something most people get wrong about public speaking is thinking about it in absolutes. You are comfortable public speaking. Or you are not.

As if there is a switch you can flip inside of you. Once it flips, you get to join the group that is comfortable.

That is not how this works. Public speaking is messy, and complex. Your fear of public speaking is messy and complex.

Instead of being a switch, your fear of public speaking is more like a knotted ball of string. You don’t flip it. You pull on all the different strings that help you untangle it.

Pulling on different strings looks like:

1) Building your ability to be self-compassionate, especially in areas where you experience perfectionism

Saying “I don’t like when I make mistakes, but I can also accept that sometimes they happen and they don’t mean I’m bad at my job.”

2) Finding a reliable way to calm yourself down when your nervous system flares up

Some options are deep slow breathing or focusing on what you can see/touch/smell to bring yourself back to the present moment.

3) Identifying limiting beliefs and changing them to thoughts that set you up to be successful

For example, realizing thinking that ‘No one is interested in what I have to say” is just a habit you have. You can remind yourself, “My colleagues regularly seek my advice one on one. I know that I can be helpful."

Like a knot, when you work on public speaking from many different angles you will find it loosens and becomes easier to work with.

Eventually you may get that knot fully undone. 

Be aware you will be required to keep practicing all the different tools and techniques you developed.

If you neglect this skill, it’s like throwing that string in your pocket.

It will become tangled again.