A common myth of public speaking is the audience is judging us. They are sitting back in their chairs waiting for you to impress them before they like you. In my career I have found the opposite to be true. I have found the audience wants to like you. And here’s why: people are a little bit selfish. 

They care about how their attention is used. They want you to be a good speaker because no matter what they have to listen to you! Nobody enters a presentation thinking “I hope this is really awful.” They want it to be good! This can be intimidating because it can add more pressure, but I prefer to think of it in a way that is useful.

When I am public speaking, I remind myself that they want to like me. They want a good experience. It is my job to take care of the audience and give them that good experience. I think of it like being a good host or hostess.

When someone arrives at your home -whether you feel like it or not - you take care of them. You take their coat, offer them a drink, and make them comfortable. It is the same with public speaking.

The first few minutes of performance need to give the impression, “this will be a good experience for you.”

Here is what will help you do this: use confirmation bias to your advantage. Confirmation bias is the tendency humans have to look for information that confirms their own thoughts and beliefs. 

If you tell yourself the audience does not like what you have to say - you will see scowls or shifting in chairs. 

If you tell yourself that you are going to like them and they are going to like you, you will see information that confirms that. You will see the smiles and nods. This will both energize you and make your feel more comfortable!

Believing the audience wants to like you is not only true, it will improve your performance. 

Give it a try and let me know how it goes. I'm rooting for you.

- Coach Heather